newark wilder

if you need me, come get me

and set me free

take me into your arms, and take me down

i need a way to get you down

i need something before i come around

let me go, let me know how you've been avoiding me

find me a heart that really cares

look inside, at what you'd rather hide

i don't mind, don't mind, mind, mind

i can't hide, can't hide, hide, hide

near as good as you

can't be nothing but true

i've got to take you into my arms

and let you down

i don't need you anymore

gray frames

life with different views

lovers bring news

of their horrible blues

you can't help but feel for them

you fear for them

you knew their pain

you played their game

you played it, all in vain

die now, child... die

your race couldn't survive

without you, they took to the skies

didn't fear for their lives

flew across the horizon with empty minds

find yourself hiding in a web of lies

self-deceit is a trophy

you can covet it, but feel so lonely

the knock on the door

the knock on the door

brings wonders, trouble and much more...

if ever you knew this had become your war, the moment the floor shook, you wanted no more

theres newly painted woodchips with shadows in their core, im the chair you step on to fix your dimming light..

the bulb needed changin'... wasn't for much you found your way through emptiness, tossing coins and singing what you didn't have

lendin our loose limbs to the blue pursuit of the aquatic electric kite

we didn't have limbs to spare for the red counterpart, the harsh and dangerous lizard... he's taken enough

we gotta gotan project soaring past our gals, i'd give em a line or three if he'd just polish your face...

the mountain range gets colder while i hold her under my fire

-half of this creation, i owe to chris auth

"now we've got this second set of teeth to take care of"

it's dangerous to be numb

to let auto-pilot kick on

always gotta have something to say,

even if its nothing

be content with your nothing

shout out nothing with everything you have

you're not just another mouth of lipstick vogue... you're not just love... you're death, a real murderer... i succumb to you... i shut it all down... i put to rest what could've been a brilliant career... a part of me wants to part ways at some point

raw bark in the water of the marble shrine

fight fight fight.... don't give up... this is what you were here for. fight. breathe. fight some more. this is a war. life asks you to succeed, and not succumb. people limit you from your success. no person in particular prevents you, rather than life itself, serving its own needs, as it always should. you fit into its needs if you can just do what you're gonna do. which isn't too hard, actually... if you take it one moment at a time. you'll find the appealing opportunity lying before you. you'll reach out and grab it. life sets it all up for you. you just have to partake.

will i partake? you betcha. i'm done with not serving myself. and i feel proud to acknowledge this. the journey is too fun and winding to dole out your emotional capacity in such a hopelessly noble way.

then there's the other corner of the room, stepping up in the back of your head. he's ready to say something... he disagrees. duh. you're reminded once more that this kind of writing just isn't appropriate. must get a bs tr a ct. must

lose

you. i

must sin

in every variation, there is opportunity for

anything

he felt once the world was entering its final phase; he could almost feel the fires of doom. he eventually got comfortable and sang and danced. but for this moment, years later, he glimpsed something grossly familiar... the end, and peoplewerereducedtobeast.nomoreforthislife

i am your speaker. i speak for the living and the dead. i am everyone. i have them all. i contain your essence. i'm open and willing, and i'm in touch. billions and billions of screeching ghosts soaring through my mind... howling at me to save them. the world cries for salvation. will you do nothing?

lipstick vogue

elvis costello's first two records have been, for the last year or so, a recurring dream... something i can't escape. his words are plastered on everyone and everything i see. his melodies have been dancing around in my head before i ever heard them. i... am... exhilarated... every time. its that much fun. no joke

no effin joke

"Little boy lost, he takes himself so seriously

He brags of his misery, he likes to live dangerously
And when bringing her name up
He speaks of a farewell kiss to me
He's sure got a lotta gall to be so useless and all
Muttering small talk at the wall while I'm in the hall
Oh, how can I explain ?
It's so hard to get on
And these Visions of Johanna they kept me up past the dawn"

i don't have my life in order... that much is clear. i don't have my feelings quite cornered. i have fleeting feelings of having felt - another life...? a dream life? i don't have my life in order... that's clear. there's a closing of the head... there's an off-switch. and more importantly, an on-switch. a lot of people and things have been tugging at me to turn on. decisions aren't always easy to carry out. but deciphering one's feelings shouldn't be so complicated

what am i torn about? that i love someone i don't want to? i certainly love her... that much is clear. even clearer than not having my life in order. what is it i want? what do i not want? there always seems to be an ever-rotating cast of women i expect fate has put there to strip me of an imperfect situation. but every situation, and every existence is as perfect and imperfect. my problems with michelle, and difficulty getting through to her only extends so far. and we are certainly at a spearhead with moving to the house and wedding plans... everything plans. we're both fighting for the same thing. there've been a couple over the last few years. when they came around, they were really special. and if it hadn't been so un-special with her so often, it wouldn't have been so special to me. but it was... it has been from time to time. the distance is more than i can comprehend sometimes. she's distant from herself

i guess what it really comes down to is the fact that i wish to be truly free. i fantasize about connecting to my soul... plugging back into life... finding the bright pulse. i'm inert, and my energies are frustrated. i need to settle down in this life, on this day, from the breath i haven't let out in years. i need to rest, with a decision. so i can connect again, in some form. there'll always be some sort of tragedy, some sort of let down. feel the feeling, and come to terms. i know what i want out of life. i know what life wants out of me. eric, you're such a kid

but god, that road is really, really calling me. what is it i'm not getting? what am i not coming to? that i want to be extremely well-funded, or at least omniscient? i just want to travel. i want to see the world. and yeah, i pretty much wish i could better master my craft. yeah, i'd love to tour my shit around the globe. yeah... hopping across this place, seeing things i never thought i'd see, in an attempt to bring my ideas to different audiences, would be incredible. but i have to make that happen. its ambitious, and i can't wait for something so vast to just happen to me. i need to remember to look at my hands. i need to keep in mind the power...!!!! the power!!! the power of it all!!!! type type dammit! bust it out!! i have to keep banging it out... seeing the priority of my priorities. life isn't even about the music for me. it's about the seeing of it. the music comes naturally when i'm seeing it all. when i'm looking around me, and appreciating what i have... bouncing off the bubbles, surfing the waves coming my way, instead of ducking and waiting for the next one. i guess what makes me upset, what gives me resentment is me losing sight. i want my eyes. and i want to coordinate my body and mind, my entire spirit to living this life and utilizing my resources. i'm not in this life. i'm in a dream-life where i'm not seeing it all

i need to do something bold, freak no one out but myself... i need to realize this is exactly where i want to be. and that finding myself is absolutely, positively critical, and not entirely linked to my love relationship. growing on a daily basis is partially exclusive. finding goals and purpose should come as a consequence, and involve, the relationship. finding oneself should exist everywhere. finding sanctuary and solitude shouldn't be difficult. your skin ends at a certain point. your mind races within your head of hair. only you can tap into your abilities as well as you can

you seriously need to wake the fuck up and go to bed

never before, have i left anyone's home like this
never in my life have i fought so hard for something that didn't exist
but now, now i know that nothing ever, really ever exists
if you could read my mind
you'd find that i didn't want you wasting my time
and as long as you're looking in my head
you'll finally see what was happening all the time
my mind was dancing to the beat of time
not resisting a thing, just dancing in line
knowing that love and loss were eternally mine